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Enjoy the Prologue of my new book.
“Speechless: A Mother’s Memoir of Caregiving”
by Kathleen Knapp
PROLOGUE:
“Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.”2 Henry Ford
July 1997; Barrie, Ontario, Canada
This was my first time in an ambulance. But not as an accompanying nurse.
This time it was family.
I heard the ambulance’s loud sirens, even with the windows up, as we sped down the highway toward the Hospital for Sick Children in Toronto, two hours south of our home. The siren blared so loudly that it created a muffled but constant backdrop to the raging thoughts inside my head, like background music in a restaurant during a mealtime conversation.
Our three-year-old son Benjamin lay bundled up in a blanket, sedated and strapped to a gurney in the rear of the ambulance. Medical personnel surround him. I rode up front in the ambulance, wondering if he would survive.
Critical. Emergency. Lights & Sirens.
My mind reeled from the information the pediatrician at our local hospital gave me less than one hour before. My baby boy had a brain tumor. I couldn’t think straight. My mind spun with all the possibilities and worries this information brought me. As a registered nurse, I knew this was bad news. But as a mother, I was devastated. I felt too numb even to pray.
Questions rolled around in my brain, tangled like spaghetti as I thought about everything I needed to do. Call my husband, Dan, who was building a log home with his crew four hours away. How will I tell him this devastating news?
My stomach seemed hollow. Empty but in turmoil, like I might throw up at any minute. Silent tears streamed down my face, dripped off my chin, and landed on my shirt unhindered like rain rolling down a window pane as I gazed at the passing countryside.
I struggled to make sense of the whirling thoughts in my brain, thoughts jumping rapidly between the mundane observations of a highway commuter to the shock of Ben’s recent diagnosis:
My, what a beautiful sunset… My son has a brain tumor… Those people are staring because we’re in an ambulance… Oh, my! We’re in an ambulance!… I must call work and rearrange my schedule for tomorrow… I’ll need time off… I wonder if Ben will die… How is this even possible?
About the Book:
“Speechless - A Mother’s Memoir of Caregiving” is a poignant memoir about a mother’s journey as the caregiver of a multiply handicapped son. Through the challenges of raising him, she discovers her true identity as a woman of faith and learns to navigate life’s trials with grace and resilience. Using the butterfly as a central analogy, the story unfolds the transformative process of personal growth, surrender, and spiritual awakening. As the butterfly emerges from its cocoon, the author mirrors her own evolution—finding strength, purpose, and divine purpose amid profound struggle.
Endorsements:
“This heartfelt story carries you along, and I soaked it all in, rooting for Kathleen and her family all along the way.
The emotional depth, vulnerability, and spiritual journey Kathleen shared in this memoir makes for a very compelling read.
Not only a well-written book, but a valuable resource to readers facing caregiving challenges, grief, identity crises, or spiritual questions.”
Dr. Susy Flory, New York Times bestselling author or co-author of a dozen memoirs, including The Unbreakable Boy, a recent feature film by Lionsgate Studios.
“Speechless is a deeply moving memoir that beautifully intertwines faith and motherhood. Through Kathleen’s powerfully raw storytelling, readers will feel a profound connection to Kathy, her family, and her precious son Ben.
As you turn the pages you’ll cheer, you’ll laugh, and you’ll weep—as I did.
Walk with Kathy and experience the spectrum of emotions that defines this journey.
Speechless is a testament to resilience, love, and the unwavering hope that faith brings to every step of the journey.
Let this book comfort you. Challenge you. And remind you of the unwavering faithfulness of Jesus — even in our seasons of sorrow.
A profoundly raw, deeply moving journey—one you will never forget.”
Nicole Langman, MSW, RSW - Therapist, Speaker and Author of You Are Wanted — Reclaiming the Truth of Who You Are.
“Speechless captured my heart from the first words I read. Kathleen beautifully articulates the profound, tender journey of a mother’s heart as she gives speech to her non-verbal son.
You will experience the joys and heartbreaks of this family in this deeply moving true story of a life that speaks volumes about the love and faithfulness of God.”
Becky Meyerson, author of 7+ devotionals, and self-publishing coach of “FINISH! Your Book” and “Framework”.
Behind the Writing Desk...
Hello, friend ~ thank you for joining me today…I appreciate you reading my musings.
“Speechless: A Mother’s Memoir of Caregiving” was published on March 1st and is now available in paperback and ebook on Amazon.
Speaking…Do you need a speaker for your event? I am now booking dates in 2026. You can view presentations on my website's “Speaker” page.
Download a FREE Resource: “Scriptures of Hope” page.
Blessings, Kathleen
PS - Check out the latest blogs, articles, books, and more on my website! Psalm139Promises.com and find all my books on Amazon.
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